Insanity
by MEES
Summary: “You’re mistaken, you are mine...” That was the beginning of the end. With this phrase he put an end on my previous, normal I may now say great life. Since that moment I started going insane. So, here it starts my miserable life.
1. Chapter 1

**Insanity **

"You're mistaken, you **are** mine..."- That was the beginning of the end. With this phrase he put an end on my previous, normal; I may now say great life. Since that moment I started going insane. So, here it starts my miserable life. Never again was I that challenging, wise Hermione Granger. Many things caused this fact. But, let's take a deeper look into my past…

Those days were as the hell was let loose. Those days were the complete return of Lord Voldemort. The return of this old, mad and obsessed man, who ruined it all, who killed me mentally…Hogwarts'd been emptying day by day, it was not a safe place anymore, not when Dumbledore was dead. Parents took away their 'golden' children, and only the bravest stayed, or maybe the silliest…or maybe the ones, who didn't have shelter, or worrying parents, but that's not the point, the matter was that my two best friends and I were among those ones: the most courageous, or the silliest, or the homeless…Harry Potter – the boy, who was a great hope of the wizarding world. The boy, who had wonderful emerald eyes, and the mainest - he had a big heart. My lovely friend, my best friend, who died.

I do blame myself. It's true; I'm the only one to blame.

That was a warm, bright day. A usual day at Hogwarts. It was sunny; still there were some grey clouds. It was hot enough; still the wind was blowing hard. I don't know why, but I had a bad feeling, the feeling, that something would happen. It was hard to breathe, something, like a needle; deep inside me was squeezing my lungs. I got up very reluctantly; it was time for breakfast, so having put on my clothes fast I ran directly to the Great Hall. But, I didn't reach it…when I left my room; I looked around myself, and found that it was too dusty and too dark…What's more it was too silently and badly cold. My heart was brought into my mouth. I got scared, something was going on, and I wasn't in the know, that really sticked me out. I started shouting Harry's name…My fear was growing with an enormous power.

"Harry! Ron! Guys, where are you!" – "I'm afraid! What's happening?" – I started sobbing and shaking. It was dark, it was cold, it was the visit of the Dark Lord…I realized it as I saw one figure in black, with an ugly mask on his face. I gasped in horror - that really had some side effects, the Death eater noticed me. But before he could act, I'd already killed him…you know, it happened only because of instinct, since my mind at that moment was completely blank. I was in shock, but despite it I began running away like a deer. My tears were shading, that is why my view was very fluid. I stopped in order to set against my breath. I was panting heavily.

"Harry! HARRY! I NEED YOU, WHERE ARE YOU!" – I collapsed on the floor and started crying out loud. I thought about my friends, about everyone, it was unbearable to even think they were dead. I refused to believe in it. In some minutes I heard the running footsteps. I condensed my wand tightly, but I knew I wouldn't need it. After a moment I was taken in arms.

"Hermione, calm down, I'm here…everything is…em.."

"… awful…! Harry, what's going on? Where are the others? Are they ok?"

"He's here; Voldemort is here…all teachers are left wandless somewhere we don't know…there are many victims.."- He tried not to show how worried and horrified he was, but his voice was shaking as well as his hands.

"What about Ron? – Frankly speaking, I didn't want to hear the answer, since it was obvious…Had he been alive, he would have surely accompanied Harry. Aren't I right?. Unfortunately I was…

"He…he…Hermione…er.."

"No…don't mean it, please! Pleaseeee! – I burst in sobbing…my head was round; I hoped that it was a type of a dreadful dream, that I would get awaken soon and see everyone with wide smiles on their faces as always…see Ron…

"Hermione, we should be strong. We should be really strong, in order to take revenge for Ron, for millions of all others…"

"I know..but I-I…really can't" – I was truly sick, I could not accept the fact Ron was gone. It was insane. No. It was untrue. I was craftily deceived! But, alas, it was the bitter reality. The reality, in which there wasn't Ron…in which Harry and I had to be strong to take revenge for our best friend. We stood up from a cold floor. We were swollen up in silence. None of us dared to speak. I guess we both were thinking about our gone friend. But all our thoughts were interrupted, and the former silence was broken by a hideous laugh of the Lord. Yes…exactly…he found Harry and he was badly pleased. He was solemnizing. He was laughing. He was ugly. I gasped in horror. I still could not believe my eyes. The man, who was the fear of the whole population of the magic world, was few steps away from me. Harry covered me by himself.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk…our lovely Harry Potter…Finally we've met, my boy. I was looking forward to meet you…" – Voldemort said in a mock sweetness.

"I do not share your happiness!"

"Oh…so rude of you, so rude…maybe this will teach you!" - _"Crucio!"_. Harry fall down on his knees, he was suffering, though he was fighting his pain. He was trying hard to stand up, still it was impossible. I might have been faint. I could not move a muscle. I was shocked. I was badly terrified. Harry was dying on my eyes. I had to do something. But what?

'_Do something!'- _My inner voice was shouting.

"Leave him alone! Stop!" – I shouted as loudly as it was possible. But no one even took a notice of me. Voldemort was too busy to notice a filthy mudblood. There were only two followers by his side. And they too were very busy in watching Harry's death. I could not but watch him dying. That was too much for me. My destiny was playing tricks on me. Very cruel ones! But then I saw that Harry finally managed to get up and hurt the Lord. That was the time when his followers tried to kill him by themselves, but soon their dirty bodies were laying there, both, of course, dead. But in a minute, the corridor filled in with horrible shouts and moans. Both Harry and the Sick-man were shouting, cursing each other. They were rather weary and exhausted. There is saying, that eyes are the mirror of the soul. So, the eyes of Voldemort were darkly grey like that clouds, surrounding the sun. I could read the fear of the coming death in those cold, frightful, awful eyes. Right. He was scared. He understood everything. He realized that it's too difficult, even impossible to kill the boy. He caught the fact that Harry would die only if he died. But not only had he understood it, but also Harry had. In spite of it, his emerald eyes didn't have even a shadow of fear. His eyes were so beautiful yet I was able to see he was worried. Harry looked at me, as if saying 'goodbye', I couldn't bare that look. All of a sudden, my eyes overfilled with salty tears. I knew that was the end. The end of the evil. The end of my best friend, Harry. He did his business. He didn't break the hopes of the world. He killed Voldemort, but the price for this was too expansive…it was his own life.

"That's for my parents, Cedric, Dumbledore, Ron and millions of other!" – I heard him shout. Saying it, he cursed the Dark Lord, he, in his turn, reacted fast. Suddenly, it became so quiet, so mild. I kept my eyes shut. I refused to open them, to see the breathless body of Harry, my best friend, the boy, who died in order to save the world. But I knew I had to do so. I did. I opened my cried out eyes and saw it. There he was lying, lifeless, with the wand in his hands. He died as a hero. He was the hero. He took revenge of all the dead and gone. He kept his promise. He always did. I started crying even more, but I don't know if it was possible to cry 'even more' than I did...I felt like a wet rag. I really became a prey to my doom. I was high and dry. My two best friends were dead. There was chaos all around me. There wasn't the greatest threat to the lives of people any more, but nonetheless it was hell. Dementors were out of Azkaban, kissing everyone around them. The Death eaters were killing all the muggleborns, mudloods…The Ministry hadn't known yet that Voldemort was dead, none of people knew, except me. Soon, they would know the truth; wear those masks of sorrow, pretending to regret Harry's death. But let it be on their own heads…

…So why am I blaming myself? I thought a lot about it…all these years, which I spend here…There is nothing to do but think and analyze here…But I still can not find the right answer. Perhaps, if I hadn't called Harry that time, he would have escaped…but no…he is not a type of people to run away from problems. He used to solve them. I think I'll never come at the answer. Yet, I'll be the one to blame…Maybe; I blame myself because of later actions**…**

…I was lying next to Harry's breathless body. My mind still could not register the fact he was gone as well as Ron…I now don't know how much time I spent lying there. Some days, maybe months…But, I guess no…that couldn't be months…I would surely die. Oh, how much I wish I had died then. But no…my fate prepared another test for me. It wasn't enough for her, indeed. I don't know, what I did to deserve all these…the loss of my close people, and then the meet. The meet, which ruined me totally. The meet, which made me feel dirty and filthy towards my friends. I cheated on them. I betrayed them.

A/N:The story was deleted by accident. And those, who didn't read the 2-d chapter of the story, I must say some words. The chapter does excist, and there you'll meet the Dr/Hr shipper, so just be patient a bit))


	2. Chapter 2

"Granger? Is that you? – I heard his calm and unusual voice. It was badly hushed. Despite it, I recognized the master of the voice at one stroke. I suddenly got up, keeping mum.

"Bloody hell! What was going on here? Is that the Dark Lord? And this is-..oh my…Potter!" – Saying all these, his eyes were widening more and more. I can say he got shocked. He cast a glance at me, then at the dead again.

"Are you ok?" – He asked, looking straight at my eyes.

"Ha! My best friends are dead, and you ask me if I'm ok! Are you ok, on your own! You're bastard! You are one of the followers of the Sick-obsessed Lord! You are wretched! You've chosen to be one of those slaves of Voldemort's, cause you're coward! – I shouted aloud, tears forming in the corners of my eyes again. I was so exhausted. I wanted to die. I thought that if I had fought with him, he would kill me. He was supposed to kill me. As Malfoy, as the pureblood, as the enemy of mine after all! He was supposed, but he did not.

"Is that all you wanted to say?" – Again that calm voice asked me. I wish he had started shouting at me, and kill me in the end! Then there wouldn't have happened what had.

"No! That's not all! I HATE YOU, MALFOY!"

"As if I loved you, mudblood" – he said, coming nearer to me. His eyes were beautiful, but blank. As if all life funs were sucked out of the person, who now was two inches away from me. Yet there was something inside them. _Sorrow_? Or, perhaps _regret? _He grabbed my hand, and started walking away, dragging me after him. I could not understand anything.

"Let me go!" No reaction. He continued walking, as though I hadn't even talked. I was trying hard to get away from his tight grip. We then entered the Room of Requirements. Only after he closed the door, did he let the go of me.

"Now I'm listening to you, Granger…You wanted to tell me who I am, right?" – He said, taking off his robe and throwing it to the bed. Wait a minute, bed! That what he needed? Bed…? Then why did he take me with him..? I could not concentrate. My mind refused to work.

"Why aren't you so brave?" – He took the bottle of the fire whiskey and drank it greedily. I didn't know what to do, so I was just standing there, looking everywhere but at him.

"Are you scared? You shouldn't be, indeed, I'm the only coward here, aren't I?"

"Malfoy…listen…"- I got really a little bit scared. The idea of what he could do to me was truly frightening.

"I'm listening attentively...courageous mudblood, who lost everyone. Now, there isn't anybody to help you. You're alone. And at the exact moment you're alone with the Death eater…dear"

"I fully know where I am! Thanks for explaining!"

"You also fully know that I may do anything I want to you?" – He started walking straight to me. I, in my turn, was feverishly searching a possible way out. I could do nothing, but take steps back, until I was right next to bed. Malfoy placed that famous smirk on his face. The smirk, which drove many girls of Hogwarts crazy, but definitely not me! It irritated me, for it meant he was pleased to see me trapped. He got so badly next to me. I could even feel his warm breath. In a moment, I felt his hands wrapping around my waist. I began panicking. I started fighting his chest. I was pretty afraid. I started shouting. Unfortunately this only turned him on. He cuddled me even more closely, forcing me to look at him. Then he whispered into me ear:

"You're still the bravest? Aren't you yet afraid?"

"I've already said you're too pitiful to even talk to you!"

"So, that means you are not afraid, are you?"

"I'm not scared of wretched, miserable people!" – But I was afraid, badly afraid.

"Hah…Granger, you could never lie…you are afraid…by the way, very much."

"You have an optical illusion, Malfoy!" - This time my voice betrayed me. – "Ok, you got it; I'm afraid, now let me go…"

"Are you insane? To let my victim go away? No way, mudblood. Not after I knew the bravest one is scared of the most timorous. And, I, of course, should show you who's superior, who's braver…In a word, I should pin back your wonderful ears, my filthy mudblood."

"I'm not your anything! Let me go!" – I was losing my temper. I wanted to get away from that place. I was not fond of the idea that the ferret would do something private with me. Only after my death!

"You're mistaken. You **are** mine" – saying this, he forcefully kissed me. His tongue was desperately demanding the access. I kept on kicking his chest. But gave up fast. I was tired, really tired. I didn't notice how I gave the very access he demanded for. I caught myself at the idea I felt comfortable in his arms. We parted, both panting heavily. My eyes were almost shut, I wanted to sleep, but somehow I knew that I wouldn't be able to, well, some following hours for sure. He started kissing my neck, coming nearer to my bosom. But there he met an obstacle; my shirt was hiding the place he was willing to kiss. He moaned in frustration and started undoing the bottoms impatiently. I couldn't stop him, nor did I want to. I needed him at that moment; I needed the caresses he gave me, and he understood it full well. And he provided me with it, making me want him. He was playing with me, touching the places; I would never let him touch…But I felt my body was answering positively. After a while we finally were on the bed, both already in our skins; naked. Needless to say what exactly happened later that night. I may say one thing – I liked it. I was toxicated by his hot kisses, touches. He was so tender. I felt as if I was loved, but I knew it was impossible. We never loved each other. We never could. We only hated each other. The hatred, which led to a wild passion. It was despair. We both went through some kind of utter shock. We both wanted to feel loved, needed and desirable. That was a crazy night, which completely made me insane. The next morning, when I woke up, I felt so foul, so miry. I was a traitor of my friends. I passed a night with the enemy. Oh, yep, the very enemy and my lover had been already gone…

…You know the continuation, Harry. – I looked at the photo of my best friend. He was looking at me reproachfully.

"Harry, I know I'm guilty. I really regret doing all that, but you should understand me too. Please." – having said this Hermione Granger, the most excellent witch of Hogwarts, one third of the 'golden trio', a brave girl, who now was sitting under the iron cells of St. Mungo's hospital started begging the photo of dead Harry Potter to forgive her.

**The end**. A little bit dark story, but not that dark…Guys, I do really need to know your opinion about the very fic. So, as you've already understood, your matter – is to move that fingers of yours and ReViEw)) Oh, yes…I would also like to explain my aims of writing the very composition. I wanted to show that the love between these two characters (HG/DM) is impossible. They are as oil and vinegar, indeed! Although opposites attract) Secondly, I intended to show that they may only have hatred. The hatred, which can lead to a desperate passion. And the passion, in its turn, will be soon forgotten as a nightmare. Well, that's how I feel it. But, if you do not share my ideas, then nothing strange here…we are people and it's our nature to have different points of view. In case you have different thoughts, please let me know, I'm pretty interested…


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